Animas high school model senate
The Animas High School Model Senate Project was purposed to teach students about our United States Congress and political system. There were many elements to this project, including learning background on topics such as the Voting Rights Act and understanding what does or doesn't make Congress Broken.
For the Model Senate, students were assigned specific senators as roles. The students had to embody their senator (even if their views didn't align). For the first two weeks, we were split up into committees: Climate Change, Immigration, and Student Debt. These would be the three issues that we would focus on for the duration of the project. In these committees, students would draft bills to present to the committees. One bill was selected for each committee and brough to the committee meetings which were conducted on Wednesday and Thursday before the final exhibition on Friday. Here, senators discussed, debated, spoken upon and suggested amendments to the bills. In the end, only Immigration and Student Debt made it out of the committee meetings. These were the bills that were discussed at the final exhibition, which the public could attend. Here, the bills were again debated, discussed, and spoken upon (through speeches). The whole senate then voted on both bills and only Immigration passed. As the Executive, I made the decision to veto the bill because it was an issue of morality. Overall, this project was fantastic. I learned about the powerhouse behind our country, my speaking and writing skills improved, and I saw myself in a very professional setting and inspired me to become more involved in politics. |
Position Papers
Executive Speeches
Final Reflection (with a bit of humor)
college essay boot camp
Reflection
Goal 1 - Word Choice
I will make sure that my word choice makes sense with the arguments I am supporting. In my honors application essay review of Habits of Highly Cynical People, I used the word ‘artificial’ in this context: “cynicism is an artificial excuse to be motivated only by self interest, to uphold unreachable standards, and to not engender a change”. A better word, with the context of the phrase, could’ve been used. The dictionary definition of artificial is: “(of a situation or concept) not existing naturally; contrived or false”. Cynicism isn’t false, it is very real and this reflection on my word choice made me realize that I have to go through what I am trying to say and make sure that my word choice is appropriate for my claim. In order to prevent this from happening in the future, I will pay attention to the words that I can use and make sure to smoothly integrate them into what I am saying.
Goal 2 - Structure and Organization
I will make sure that my writing has smooth transitions, structure, and organization. In my honors application essay, there was contradiction in my writing,
“In her article, Habits of Highly Cynical People, Rebecca Solnit describes cynics as “disappointed idealists”(page number). Cynics set ideal qualities for society to have based on the perspectives they’ve developed in their lifetime. They are notorious for upholding unrealistic standards and for acting out of self interest. They do not take the initiative to further explore a complex situation, making them not as involved in the society.
Despite their negative profile, there are some benefits to a cynical character. Cynicism can be used to protect consumers from over-zealous promoters, or people who exaggerate the truth. They can easily identify truths and problems in the society that need to be addressed, even though they commonly only identify the problem and expect other people to pursue it. In the article, In Praise of Cynicism, Julian Baggini explains, “[t]The cynic, after all, is inclined to question people's motives and assume that they are acting self-servingly unless proven otherwise”.”
I immediately transition from saying that cynicism plays a negative role in society to saying that their characteristic isn’t all bad. This causes confusion for the reader and also doesn’t support my claim very well. It also throws off the organization and structure of my essay by transitioning too quickly without a smooth introduction to a different side of the topic I was studying. In order to prevent this in the future, I will read through my writing before submission and make sure that I don’t go off track of my original claim and that I use evidence that fully supports it. If I do decide to add something that may contradict my claim, I will make sure that it’s integrated in a way that makes sense and isn’t so abrupt.
Goal 3 - Thesis
I will make sure that my writing clearly states my thesis in the beginning paragraph so it is obvious to the reader what my writing is going to be about. In my honors essay I did not incorporate my thesis into the beginning paragraph, causing my writing to turn into a disorganized argument,
“Acting out of self interest, having little motivation to be involved in problems, and constant negativity is usually frowned upon, so why when it comes to cynicism, it goes by unnoticed? In our society today, it is rare to meet an individual without a hint of cynicism integrated into their character, which prompts the question: is cynicism ultimately beneficial to our society, or harmful?”
In my paragraph, I just restated the question, I didn’t come up with my own interpretation of it. My thesis should’ve been very obvious, and instead it was hidden beneath the original question. I order to prevent this in the future, I will make sure that my writing is outlined before I start and that I have a clear thesis written down that I will later integrate into the beginning paragraph. This will also help me shape and streamline my writing around my thesis.
College Essay
My voice was something that was lacking in my first draft of my essay. My enthusiasm for the ocean did not come through and that was something I wanted to change. I had to revise my original idea of my essay and decided to write about a specific experience I found invigorating. I grew in the way I represented myself and my character in the paper.
In my first draft, it seemed my main objective was to list everything that I had done in order to pursue my passion. My main paragraph was dedicated to this,
“In the following years, I took every opportunity I could get my feet wet. In 2014, I attended a 3-week Broadreach program aboard a catamaran with 11 other students in the Caribbean. We completed a college-level marine biology course, studying reef ecosystems and marine animals and earned IYT Sailing and Advanced Scuba certifications. I loved the coursework and time spent in the water observing marine life, leaving me yearning for more. In 2015, I conducted field research on dolphins and jaguars with Ecology Project International in Belize over spring break,, and that summer I spent in Sarasota, Florida with the Duke TIP Program completing a project on cetacean intelligence. In March 2016, I traveled to Costa Rica during my school’s internship period for juniors. For two weeks, I lived on a local permaculture farm with a host family and I taught marine science at Escuela Watsky Volio in Bribri, an indigenous community along the Caribbean coast. Then, I traveled to the Pacific coast to work with the Keumar Sea Turtle Project, a non-profit organization bringing awareness to sea turtle conservation”.
This is an example of where my essay became dull. It wasn’t my voice, but merely a list of accomplishments. Even though these accomplishments ultimately make up who I am today, I wanted college admissions to read this and really get a sense of who I am, as a person. I got some feedback from my peers that agreed that I needed to revise this section of my essay, and that, even though the accomplishments were impressive, I needed my character to come through. This is what pushed me to rewrite the entire second half of my essay, and what ultimately shaped it into what it is now. I decided to write about my time on the E/V Nautilus and a specific moment when I knew my character and love for the ocean would flourish. I transformed the dull paragraph into something that spoke,
“Two and a half hours into my watch, the team found a massive 60lb rock on the bottom of the ocean. I glanced over to the lead scientist’s screen and saw the response from an enthusiastic geologist writing in from land, “YES, grab the entire sample!”. The team in the control van erupted into a childish play-by-play about how we were going to get this 60lb sample to the surface. Meanwhile, I was admiring the biodiversity on the underside of the sample. I can’t wait to check this in the wet lab, I thought. It was finally decided that the rock would rest on the front part of Herc, and a slow and steady ascent would hopefully bring it back in one piece. I intently observed the glass sponge swaying in the current, hoping the fragile internal structure would still be intact after a journey like this.
It took three people to steadily lift the rock off Herc and place it on the counter in the lab. What I didn’t see through the lens of Herc’s camera were the encrusting corals that littered the crevasses of this sample. I let out a gleeful laugh as I admired the bright colors: pink, purple, green! There was a colony of small feathered coral, two large tube worms, and two glass sponges. So much deep sea marine life existed on this sample! With a scalpel and tweezers, I meticulously removed each living thing and placed them into coordinating tubes that would be sent off to research institutions to be further examined.
In this moment, in awe of deep sea life on a rock that was perched on a coastal cliff during the last ice age, I was 9 years old again. My eyes danced from place to place. A goofy grin spread across my face. A grin that means I’m home.”
In order to make this growth happen, I had to have the motivation and work dedication to shape it into a personal and descriptive narrative of who I am. I started by writing out my ideas - what I was going to say, my personal attachments to this memory, how my character shone through, and finally how I was going to connect it back to the beginning of my essay. I wrote a rough draft and made sure that my voice and passion came through. It was written over the word limit, but I was able to cut it down and make it really precise.
Overall, I am proud of how my essay came out. However, there are some things I still want to change. I need to work on explicitly stating what the ocean has taught me and how it has helped me to evolve into the person I am today and what qualities it has given me.
Goal 1 - Word Choice
I will make sure that my word choice makes sense with the arguments I am supporting. In my honors application essay review of Habits of Highly Cynical People, I used the word ‘artificial’ in this context: “cynicism is an artificial excuse to be motivated only by self interest, to uphold unreachable standards, and to not engender a change”. A better word, with the context of the phrase, could’ve been used. The dictionary definition of artificial is: “(of a situation or concept) not existing naturally; contrived or false”. Cynicism isn’t false, it is very real and this reflection on my word choice made me realize that I have to go through what I am trying to say and make sure that my word choice is appropriate for my claim. In order to prevent this from happening in the future, I will pay attention to the words that I can use and make sure to smoothly integrate them into what I am saying.
Goal 2 - Structure and Organization
I will make sure that my writing has smooth transitions, structure, and organization. In my honors application essay, there was contradiction in my writing,
“In her article, Habits of Highly Cynical People, Rebecca Solnit describes cynics as “disappointed idealists”(page number). Cynics set ideal qualities for society to have based on the perspectives they’ve developed in their lifetime. They are notorious for upholding unrealistic standards and for acting out of self interest. They do not take the initiative to further explore a complex situation, making them not as involved in the society.
Despite their negative profile, there are some benefits to a cynical character. Cynicism can be used to protect consumers from over-zealous promoters, or people who exaggerate the truth. They can easily identify truths and problems in the society that need to be addressed, even though they commonly only identify the problem and expect other people to pursue it. In the article, In Praise of Cynicism, Julian Baggini explains, “[t]The cynic, after all, is inclined to question people's motives and assume that they are acting self-servingly unless proven otherwise”.”
I immediately transition from saying that cynicism plays a negative role in society to saying that their characteristic isn’t all bad. This causes confusion for the reader and also doesn’t support my claim very well. It also throws off the organization and structure of my essay by transitioning too quickly without a smooth introduction to a different side of the topic I was studying. In order to prevent this in the future, I will read through my writing before submission and make sure that I don’t go off track of my original claim and that I use evidence that fully supports it. If I do decide to add something that may contradict my claim, I will make sure that it’s integrated in a way that makes sense and isn’t so abrupt.
Goal 3 - Thesis
I will make sure that my writing clearly states my thesis in the beginning paragraph so it is obvious to the reader what my writing is going to be about. In my honors essay I did not incorporate my thesis into the beginning paragraph, causing my writing to turn into a disorganized argument,
“Acting out of self interest, having little motivation to be involved in problems, and constant negativity is usually frowned upon, so why when it comes to cynicism, it goes by unnoticed? In our society today, it is rare to meet an individual without a hint of cynicism integrated into their character, which prompts the question: is cynicism ultimately beneficial to our society, or harmful?”
In my paragraph, I just restated the question, I didn’t come up with my own interpretation of it. My thesis should’ve been very obvious, and instead it was hidden beneath the original question. I order to prevent this in the future, I will make sure that my writing is outlined before I start and that I have a clear thesis written down that I will later integrate into the beginning paragraph. This will also help me shape and streamline my writing around my thesis.
College Essay
My voice was something that was lacking in my first draft of my essay. My enthusiasm for the ocean did not come through and that was something I wanted to change. I had to revise my original idea of my essay and decided to write about a specific experience I found invigorating. I grew in the way I represented myself and my character in the paper.
In my first draft, it seemed my main objective was to list everything that I had done in order to pursue my passion. My main paragraph was dedicated to this,
“In the following years, I took every opportunity I could get my feet wet. In 2014, I attended a 3-week Broadreach program aboard a catamaran with 11 other students in the Caribbean. We completed a college-level marine biology course, studying reef ecosystems and marine animals and earned IYT Sailing and Advanced Scuba certifications. I loved the coursework and time spent in the water observing marine life, leaving me yearning for more. In 2015, I conducted field research on dolphins and jaguars with Ecology Project International in Belize over spring break,, and that summer I spent in Sarasota, Florida with the Duke TIP Program completing a project on cetacean intelligence. In March 2016, I traveled to Costa Rica during my school’s internship period for juniors. For two weeks, I lived on a local permaculture farm with a host family and I taught marine science at Escuela Watsky Volio in Bribri, an indigenous community along the Caribbean coast. Then, I traveled to the Pacific coast to work with the Keumar Sea Turtle Project, a non-profit organization bringing awareness to sea turtle conservation”.
This is an example of where my essay became dull. It wasn’t my voice, but merely a list of accomplishments. Even though these accomplishments ultimately make up who I am today, I wanted college admissions to read this and really get a sense of who I am, as a person. I got some feedback from my peers that agreed that I needed to revise this section of my essay, and that, even though the accomplishments were impressive, I needed my character to come through. This is what pushed me to rewrite the entire second half of my essay, and what ultimately shaped it into what it is now. I decided to write about my time on the E/V Nautilus and a specific moment when I knew my character and love for the ocean would flourish. I transformed the dull paragraph into something that spoke,
“Two and a half hours into my watch, the team found a massive 60lb rock on the bottom of the ocean. I glanced over to the lead scientist’s screen and saw the response from an enthusiastic geologist writing in from land, “YES, grab the entire sample!”. The team in the control van erupted into a childish play-by-play about how we were going to get this 60lb sample to the surface. Meanwhile, I was admiring the biodiversity on the underside of the sample. I can’t wait to check this in the wet lab, I thought. It was finally decided that the rock would rest on the front part of Herc, and a slow and steady ascent would hopefully bring it back in one piece. I intently observed the glass sponge swaying in the current, hoping the fragile internal structure would still be intact after a journey like this.
It took three people to steadily lift the rock off Herc and place it on the counter in the lab. What I didn’t see through the lens of Herc’s camera were the encrusting corals that littered the crevasses of this sample. I let out a gleeful laugh as I admired the bright colors: pink, purple, green! There was a colony of small feathered coral, two large tube worms, and two glass sponges. So much deep sea marine life existed on this sample! With a scalpel and tweezers, I meticulously removed each living thing and placed them into coordinating tubes that would be sent off to research institutions to be further examined.
In this moment, in awe of deep sea life on a rock that was perched on a coastal cliff during the last ice age, I was 9 years old again. My eyes danced from place to place. A goofy grin spread across my face. A grin that means I’m home.”
In order to make this growth happen, I had to have the motivation and work dedication to shape it into a personal and descriptive narrative of who I am. I started by writing out my ideas - what I was going to say, my personal attachments to this memory, how my character shone through, and finally how I was going to connect it back to the beginning of my essay. I wrote a rough draft and made sure that my voice and passion came through. It was written over the word limit, but I was able to cut it down and make it really precise.
Overall, I am proud of how my essay came out. However, there are some things I still want to change. I need to work on explicitly stating what the ocean has taught me and how it has helped me to evolve into the person I am today and what qualities it has given me.